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3 Tips for Helping You to Take Back Your Power in Your Businesses

boss moves business boundaries business growth client experience entrepreneur mindset multi-passionate ceo success mindset take back your power Jan 30, 2024

Why would you leave a 9-5 to then have bosses?

What an awkward question. Yet, I've deliberately asked it because I need you to recognize why you've been feeling so controlled in the business YOU own.  So let's talk about the bosses that you never knew you had, and how you can evaluate whether or not you do have bosses that you never knew you had. So I just have three quick things that you can ask yourself or sit down and mull over to see if indeed you've been experiencing these things.

 

 Firstly, what are the things that can be used to help you evaluate whether or not you have bosses?

1. Recognizing that maybe you get anxiety if you're late on delivering something.

You get legit anxiety. You literally either break out in hives, break out in sweat, heart palpitations. I'm not even actually joking. You really feel like you owe someone something; like you are robbing them almost when you don't show up on time or when you don't deliver on time and stuff.

This is not to say that as a business owner you are not committed to excellence, but there's a different level when it reaches a place of anxiety. There's a different thing that happens when it reaches a place where your body is physically reacting to a level of fear and a level of, oh my gosh, I can't believe this is happening.

So when you find that your body is physically reacting to something, it means that there's a part of you that feels almost obligated or attached to the approval and the validation and the expectations of this individual. And if this person there says something negative based on what you have or have not done, then could it be the end of the world for you? I must also note that this is no stretch of the imagination - this happens in 9 to 5. And this is why a lot of persons end up with so much stress in 9 to 5 because these feelings are so intrinsic.

So if you in your own business find that you are having these very same feelings even though you are the one who's supposed to be owning your time, owning your space, owning when you show up, owning all of that. If you find yourself feeling that way about a client and stuff, then have you basically relinquished your power? Have you given your power and your autonomy over to someone else even though it's your business? So I really want you to check that.

But again, if you're committed to quality, if you're committed to good service, then you don't want to be late. But if you are having physical reactions where your body is reacting negatively to these things, I want you to check that and start taking steps to make sure that that's not a thing. 

 

2. You start to feel pressure to communicate and provide excuses regarding your whereabouts.

Now, that sounds weird in terms of providing excuses. But, I'm telling you, especially when you have a nine to five type of approach or mentality, even when you go to the bathroom too long, or allegedly too long rather. Or even when something else would happen and your boss couldn't find you, there is a part of you that feels almost guilty for maybe taking five minutes longer than you were supposed to. 

Then on top of that, if you don't respond to an email when you were supposed to or something like that, there's this other bit of, oh my gosh, I need to tell them something. This weird obligation because apparently this person is your parent.

Again, these things happen in nine to five. Not only have I experienced these things, but I've seen it over the 14 years that I actually was in nine to five. Our reality is that when you start feeling pressured to communicate, when I say pressured to communicate, I'm talking about if somebody reaches out to you at 10 o'clock in the night, you feel like you cannot leave that message unanswered because you don't want them to feel like you're ignoring them.

I'm talking about when people message you at five o'clock in the morning and you feel like you cannot leave that message unread because again, that person might feel like you're just leaving them to the wayside. I've had many interesting clients in the past who, I mean, she was just getting to know me, so I could definitely understand that. But every morning at around 6.15 or 6.30, she was messaging me and saying what she needs to do or what she needs me to do or what she hasn't gotten through with - this was a problem.

 A very long story short, that then began a very difficult kind of journey with the client as I had to literally reconstruct our relationship, where I had to really remind her of the boundaries that I have set; this is how you're going to communicate with me.

Interestingly, if this was a past time, I know that I would have felt really badly even telling somebody that they can't message me at six o'clock in the morning and expect that I'm going to respond. You can send a message anytime you want to know. That's not the limitation here. But don't expect me to be responding to you before morning.  But, it took time for me to get to that place.

But I know that there are other persons who feel like they're just this unspoken pressure to respond to persons and communicate. And if you don't communicate or whatever, and if you don't give a report like they're your parent or whatever, then there's something wrong, you know, and it's a thing. 

So if you find that you are feeling very pressured where that's concerned, then I really encourage you to check that, you know, because again, this is your business. You have the power. And if it is that you you are feeling this pressure and stuff, I dare say that you lowkey have relinquished some of the power to the persons who have hired you for whatever period of time.

 

3. You feel overworked and underpaid.

Now, it's so interesting because, of course, your boss generally doesn't necessarily directly pay you.  But, when you are working under a boss, of course, in the 9-5 world, you know, there is still, emotionally, a direct correlation between how you feel in terms of your pay and what you're receiving and how you are treated by your boss.  

So if you feel overworked and the money that you're receiving on a monthly basis is not even making up for or helping you to meet the actual demands of your life, then no, you're going to start feeling a certain way. So that the emotional turmoil that you are experiencing should not be experienced in your business.

If it is that you find that you're working with a client and you are feeling this way, it means that you have basically signed yourself up to be overworked or deliver a whole lot of stuff while still not even being able to meet the financial needs that you actually have.

 

Here's How You Can Flip the Script

I have three points that can help you to address these things... and I'm not going to tell you it's going to be instant. Some of the things, you can put them down on paper and that be the quote-unquote instant thing. But, as it relates to your recalibration and working on your mindset and actually staying disciplined in terms of acknowledging these new things, that's a whole other kettle of fish. So I am going to say, give yourself grace to step into this new way of running your business. But definitely give yourself the opportunity to dwell in this newness that exists when you, and this new confidence and this new power that you are choosing to hold for yourself, right?

 

1. Work on your boundaries

Boundaries, especially as a multi-passionate CEO, are absolutely important. Whether you're in a season of rest or a season of work - you need to work on your boundaries.

So when do you actually feel comfortable communicating with people? When can you work in time to spend with yourself? When can you work in time to spend with the ones you love and just in your home? When can you work in time to just work on projects without all of the distractions? When you figure those things out, then you say, all right, cool. Let us actually see when I can provide support. Because of course, that's absolutely important because people are paying you.

And you want them to know that they can ask you questions, they can get responses in real time, like stuff like that, or however you want that to look. So by no means am I saying that you are not to be accessible. I'm saying that you need to take the power in terms of deciding on when you are accessed and how you are accessed and what people can expect where that is concerned.

So get very clear on that so that you can really stand in that power in terms of how you carry yourself and how you conduct yourself as a multi-passionate CEO.

 

2. Standardized deliverables through package offerings

Now, a big reason a lot of persons feel overworked and underpaid, especially, is because it's almost like the scope of whatever product it is has not been properly defined.

And so every little thing that can be squeezed into the product is being squeezed into the project. Kind of similar to a 9-to-5. So in a 9-to-5, especially depending on just how unstructured your job description may have been or the culture is or whatever, a boss can ask you to do almost 20 things.  

I mean, 20 might be exaggerating, but you never know. But, a reality is that a boss doesn't have necessarily a limit on what they can or cannot ask you to do. And then you as an employee, you can't be like, oh, no, I'm not doing that today. Or without being written up by HR, let's be real. So a reality is that how you are able to make sure that you are not feeling overworked and underpaid is like, all right, cool... these are the specific things that you can expect. This is when you can expect to get them. That kind of thing. And you make sure that you are as granular as possible.

 Now, there are going to be some things that I know you won't be able to give the exact details on because some of the projects and some of the deliverables end up being formed along the way on the projects. So I get that completely.

And I have projects like that even currently. But, let there be a general scope, though, or a general goal that needs to be outlined so that you can say, all right, cool. This is what we're going to go towards. 

And that helps you to just standardize deliverables.

 

3. Charge What You Need To Charge

So once you decide on your standardized offerings, now, you are then able to say, all right, cool, this is how much you can pay me to get this done for you. And that's it. So, once you decide on that now, honestly, it's up to you as to whether or not you're going to undercharge and then still say that you're going to deliver. Because if you're undercharging, then for me, don't complain.

Charge what you're charging. And if you're going to complain about feeling overworked and underpaid, then you have to do that personal reflection straight up. I can't feel sorry for you in that regard. Because you know how much effort you're going to be putting out. You know what it takes and all those things. So then charge what you need to charge.

I do know, however, that it takes some time to get to that place. But at least acknowledge that you are not charging what you should be charging.  At least that. Otherwise, do not blame your client. Do not blame anybody else for whatever when a reality is that you should take that power. You should take that initiative.

You should take all of that and make sure that you're putting it forward to them to say, all right, pretty much this is what it's going to take for me to get this thing done for you. This is how much I need you to pay me. And even if you're offering a discount on it, because I've offered discounts before, especially when a person signs up in certain seasons, like I'm having a special or whatever. For me, what I'm offering is something that I'm comfortable offering. Meaning, it's a minimum amount. I'm not taking less than that.

So let it be that even if you're offering a discount for whatever reason, it's not going below an amount that actually makes sense for you. Otherwise, you're selling yourself short.

When you realize that your monetary needs are being met in the midst of you potentially feeling a bit challenged by a project or something like that, believe it or not, there's a big part of it that starts making you feel like, okay, cool. At least I have money that maybe can take me to a spa or that can send me on vacation after this or something like that. Maybe you might not think of it that way, but I'm someone who thinks of it like that.

Like, all right, cool. Even if this project, it might be stressing me out for this moment or for the six weeks or whatever, at least I have money in the back that can allow me to take a weekend and breeze out. You get what I'm saying? But yeah, so say not to say, guys.

 

To Wrap Up...

These three things, I believe, are some very deliberate and direct ways that you can combat the way you've structured your business to ensure that you are not having bosses that you didn't even know you had. I want you to remember that you have the power as a business owner, and then on top of that, as a multi-passionate CEO, to really define the way you serve and the way you show up in your business. If you give that power over to your clients, honestly, that's when you will start suffering in your business.

That's when you will start hating what you do eventually. Again, because I'm someone who fully believes in service, and I believe in excellence, and I believe that you should provide value to people. So there's a thin line between doing that and actually not necessarily having that power, as I said, in your business and feeling like you are then moving at somebody else's beck and call, where that is concerned.

So take back your power, stand in your power, do what you need to do, i.e. work on your boundaries, standardize deliverables through package offerings, and charge what you actually want to charge. And then once you do those things, and then work on your mindset, and really just that adaptation and that new way of being, once you work on all of that, I guarantee you that you'll no longer be living that reality of having a boss that you never knew that you had.

 

 

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